Little things

So this morning as my phone rang before nine and woke me up I realized that I hated it at that very moment. My husband was cuddled up behind me holding me very closely and I felt very loved and very save. It is just these little things that remind me every day how much I love him and how lonely my life would be without him.

Everyone that knew me before I met my husband laughs at me. See I was married once before and though me and my ex are good friends it was a rough and long break up and took a toll on me. The relationships that followed the next decade were nothing better than disaster and sometimes very dangerous. I was NEVER getting married again. It was NEVER going to happen.

I met Josh 3 1/2 years ago through my ex husband. Josh was one that was never getting married and in fact had a lot of trust issues with women. He had been burned in times where his SO was all that he had and then she up and disappeared taking with her everything he owned. He would tell me that he would only tell his mother and his daughter that he loved them but he was "showing" me that he did because he was there with me.

Two years into our relationship when the whole world was finally working out and things for us pretty damn much couldnt be better, shit had to happen and for 13 and 1/2 months he was gone. Due to a crime he committed nearly 6 years prior to us meeting and was on probation for he went back to prison. I made the choice to stay with him. I learned the details of what had happened and I would have beat that SOB to the ground for hurting that kid too.

During his time something happened with our relationship and it grew into something bigger then I ever thought possible. His letters were full of I love you's and he confessed to me all the things he never told me. I was ticked at first because dammit it shouldnt take a fucking prison sentence to make you want to tell me how you feel and all ...it was bullshit for me for a while!!! Well it continued and he told me he wanted to get married. Again a little apprehensive considering where he was at because I wasnt going to be that bimbo that agreed to get married because you are scared you are going to loose me. But things continued to grow for us and become stronger and stronger.

January 1, 2009 we got married. This is something I will never regret and amazingly my life finally feels a lot less like swiss cheese.

But it is just the little things that make me remember where I used to be and where I am now. It is just the little things that make me realize how lucky I am to have found love. It is just the little things that I want to be sure to pay attention to every day.