:) guess I should do a little update here

So I have gotten a lot of comments as of late to the last post I did about talking to my father.

About a week or so after making that post I got ahold of my brother and asked him if he would be willing to let our father know that I was feeling that we  needed to try to open communication. Within 1/2  hour I got a call from dad.

It was one of the best conversations that we have ever had in my adult life. He was open and actually HEARD what I needed to say. He has respected that I cannot allow him to talk about my mother or to try to turn things to her because those things are all in his mind not in reality. He understood that I could not talk to him when he had been drinking.

He heard me for the first time in my life he actually heard me.

We have talked every couple of weeks since that initial phone call and I am so happy that I made the leap to try. I know that right now today if something were to happen and he was gone that I know that we had gotten a dialogue opened up and it wasnt going to send me into a serious panic attack if he called me. I know right now that I can call him whenever I want to and I know that we are going to actually be able to talk to each other like adults.

Kind of horrible that it took 20 years for us to be able to relate to one another as adults but now that I have it I just hope that it stays that way.